Friday, December 4, 2009

Another snowday in Houston?!?!

"Al Gore may have invented the Internet, but he doesn't know jack about the environment."
-My name is Shae Keefe, and I approve of that message.

Thank you, Shae, for a great spring board into today's topic.

Let's set up the situation before we quickly delve into politics.

So, for the second year in a row, there is snow in Houston. Last year was just a little bit of snow and it barely stuck to the ground. Still, a snowball fight ensued. Studying for finals could wait.

This week, there have been reports in the paper and on TV about the possibility of snow. People in Houston, of course, have typically and foreseeably overreacted. It was sunny and in the 50s yesterday (which, of course, is ordinarily cold for Houston, even in December) yet people were still decked out in their scarves, gloves and overcoats. They were acting like Houston turned into the North Pole.

So, this morning, it started snowing. And not just a few flurries. It's really coming down. The reports indicate that Houston could see two to six inches of snow by this evening.

Now, those of you up North might not think that's a lot of snow. Let me take this time to point out that Houston is woefully under-equipped to deal with snow. People here can't drive in the rain. Hell, Houstonians couldn't even drive on Thursday when there were reports of snow Friday. Any of you who were anywhere near downtown yesterday know what I'm talking about.

Snow is going to lead to countless accidents. And for those of you in Houston, drive safe. It's really bad out there. Point is, it's snowing and it's a lot. Be careful (This ends the PSA portion of today's post).

Which kind of brings me to my point.

I know I've said (recently) that I won't attack controversial topics on this blog because, well, we're all friends here and nothing leads to more anger and hurt feelings than discussing religion or politics in public. Plus, when it's done in a shallow and pedantic manner, it can only lead to more of those feelings.

Let me at this time apologize for those of you who are sensitive and who may lose sight of the overall theme of this blog (light-hearted and family friendly) humor.

It's snowing in Houston. It's the earliest it's ever snowed in Houston. (William McMillan, you were correct [even if I agreed with you when you said it but you still demanded credit {back handed enough for ya?}]). Last year, it snowed on December 10. This year it's snowing on December 4th. Do the math, people.

How does this all come together with global warming? If it's getting colder earlier in warm (hot?) cities, is it really getting warmer?

(Now, I'm not picking on Liberals, despite what this post says. If I find your behavior to be hypocritical, fraudulent or laughable, I will point it out. I have and will say things in the future about Conservatives. Take any Aggie or Catholic or Dick Cheney jokes you've heard me tell and counter this post if you're worried about the final score)

I don't want any of you amateur meteorologists to tell me when it's warmer, there is more condensation which leads to high pressure which leads to cold weather and more humidity and barometer pressures and typhoons which leads to El Nino and then snow. If you don't have a degree in meteorology, keep it to yourself. Because it will sound just as made up as that last sentence. Watching and even quoting Steve Carrell from Anchorman does not entitle you to give forecasts.

(Let me again point out that this is meant almost entirely as tongue in cheek. So, don't take offense. If you're particularly sensitive, just quit reading. Honestly, you won't hurt my feelings.)

Does this all add up? What about the leaked emails about the fraudulent temperature data? How does all of this work? Am I missing something? Is Al Gore to blame? Did he start this vast conspiracy? Are we all pawns in his game?

Let's also point out here that Al Gore drives a Suburban (not a Prius or bike) and his monthly electricity bills for his mansion are more than most people's yearly mortgage (slight exaggeration). Your hypocrite alarm should be going off at a pretty high level. Buying carbon offsets is not enough to allow such a high level of hypocricy, sir.

This doesn't add up, people. Snow in Houston? Let me rephrase. The earliest snow on record in Houston. Plus the leaked emails about the alleged fraud. This does not equal global warming. I'm sorry for those who don't believe in conspiracies (or have the wool pulled over their eyes [although that might keep you warm in this blizzard!]) but this does not add up.


Colin said...

Downtown traffic yesterday is not a barometer of Houstonian's ability to drive, but the City's unintelligent workers and lack of commom sense. The City was putting De-Icer on the Katy HOV yesterday (during Rush Hour). Real intelligent to shut down the HOV on the largest freeway in the world during rush hour.

Vik Vij said...

Colin, they probably were ordered to that then because of an inability of the city and county to afford overtime. Why worry about making thousands late when you can save on overtime?

Trey said...

It snowed today.

Anonymous said...

Yes. We can blame Al Gore.

Anonymous said...

I want a blog on Cheetah Woods . . . Do it.