Sunday, June 14, 2009

You know what really grinds my gears Part 7

You know what really grinds my gears? I'm glad you asked, because it is the following list of activity that really grinds my gears.

1. Brett Favre. Seriously, has this "I'm retired, no wait, I want to play again" dance gone on long enough. He has tried the same tired song and dance every year since 2005. I couldn't care less. Even though the media now jokes about the saturation over the air waves about Brett Favre, they continue to document and report his every move. Favre, who hasn't been an elite QB in close to 7 years, and hasn't been an above average QB in 3 years, is more likely to throw interceptions than touchdowns. He's not a gun slinger anymore. He's old. And I don't care about him at all. Go away and stay away.

2. In the same vein about over saturation, people who update their facebook status every three minutes or every time they do anything, no matter how mundane, need to stop. Realize I've already blocked your updates on my facebook account. Eating a sandwich, or driving to the grocery store do not need facebook updates. A play by play of your day at work is, again, something I don't need to see on my computer screen. If I wanted to know what you were doing at that exact moment, I would call you (Thanks for that line, Guillermo McMillan).

3. Comcast. Not only was the Internet and cable out for half of the day Wednesday, but it's been going out on a nearly day by day basis. Why would I continue to pay outrageous bills for a hit or miss service? Oh, right, there is no other cable company. A monopoly. How American.

4. People in the express lane at Kroger (or any other grocery store, but I shop at Kroger these days) who haggle over a few cents when a line builds up behind them. If you bring coupons and watch the cashier like a hawk, go to the regular lines. Don't go to the express lanes. And if you have 15 items or more in the 15 items or less line and have coupons and cause the manager to have to come give you a rain check because you couldn't get your Fiber One and a discount before you START writing your check, let alone whip out your check book, you need to go to the regular lanes. Not the express lane. That is the lane reserved for people with a few items and ready to pay with a credit card or debit card. You know, those people who can move along in an "express" fashion. The name express is not just thrown out there because the grocery stores like the way it looks. It's a convenience feature. Get out of the lane, grandma.

5. Those "guys" who wear the Euro-tight jeans. Listen, you're a guy, you don't need to wear skin tight jeans. There is no reason to wear pants so tight they don't even go over your hind quarters. Get a hair cut, buy some new pants, and for God's sake, wearing a thin tie with an untucked shirt looks moronic so don't do that. I'm not sure you realize this is Texas, not Paris or Milan. Wear your jeans the right way.

2 comments:

Trey said...

in the year three thousAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!

Luke said...

@Trey - In the year 3,000, ESPN's Chris Berman III, Jr. will present a story about how Brett Favre's surgically-repaired throwing shoulder is handling suspended animation.