Friday, September 4, 2009

Worst Quiznos Ever

Let me start by saying that this is my own fault. Entirely. But, when has that ever stopped me from complaining? I'll take "never" for $1,000, Alex. You're damn right I went there. Anyway, let's get to the point.
So, Thursday night I ran out of turkey for my lunch on Friday. I didn't want to go to Kroger because it was raining. And the new cafeteria had just opened at the Criminal Justice Center. I thought, since it was under new management, that it would be good. Or at least better. Well, after seeing and smelling what was being offered for lunch, I decided to go to Quiznos. Now, I don't even like Quiznos. I thought of walking 8 blocks for Vietnamese, but since I was by myself and the chance of rain was high, I decided I'd just get Quiznos. It's only a block away, and how bad can a turkey sandwich be?
Or, so I thought. I don't mean to sound like a jerk (sound familiar?) but walking past urinating homeless people is not that appetizing. I realize this is not the fault of Quiznos, but when it happens on your doorstep, fair or not, it ends up impacting your business. So, putting that aside, I go in. There is nobody in front of me in the line. It shouldn't take more than 4 minutes for my order to be taken. In theory. But, so much for that. I finally order a turkey sandwich to go. Not exactly complex, but, please baear with me.
So, after waiting to order my sandwich, it's finally made and put into the oven. It comes out. I ask for lettuce. The lady behind the counter looks at me like I have 2 heads. Lettuce, she asks. Yes, lettuce. And tomato. It's a sandwich, not a bowl of cereal. Put some veggies on there. She had to ask the manager if I could have lettuce. After consulting with the manager (I assume he was in charge because he had a mustache [seems plausible]) and waiting another 2 minutes, lettuce is placed on my sandwich. About 3 shreds of lettuce. But, I thought to myself, this is a victory. Also, you haven't been shanked, so just go back to your office. You're not trying to be a hero.
So, when the guy at the register hands me my sandwich, I politely (seriously) remind him that I ordered it to go. He should remember, I thought to myself, he took your order only minutes before and has done nothing since slapping some turkey onto bread and sliding it into the oven. But, he doesn't remember. No big deal, I think. Wrong again, champ. He rolls his eyes, flips the recipt towards the floor, huffs, and goes to get wrapping paper. I didn't think, silly me, that it would be such a big deal to get a turkey sandwich to go.
So, after waiting to order, after having to argue about lettuce, after reminding the yokel who worked there that I wanted it to go, I finally bring it back to the office to eat. And the damned thing was terrible. I mean, how can a turkey sandwich be bad? If you really want to know, go to Quzinos at 1000 Main Street. It's the worst Quiznos in America. Which is hard to believe, since most of them (I assume all but had to qualify my statement to avoid being sued [thats how it works, right Legal? Fung? Hello?]) suck anyway; but this was awful. I'm officially never returning to any Quiznos.


FUNG! said...

If I learned anything from Prof. Moore, this is completely opinion speech. So, you're safe.

N.a.t.e said...

I've eaten Quiznos twice, and got sick both times. Something is seriously wrong whatever they are serving. I have refused to ever step foot in one, even to use the restroom. I might get sick just doing that. Next time Vik, just tough it out for a few hours or just get wet.