Friday, November 7, 2008

I beat espn.com's Bill Simmons

From today's Sportguy article. Note, I said this first. Sunday. Not today. I was first. In your face. Thank you. (Jennifer, I'm going to credit this to espn.com and put quotation marks so I don't get sued. Right move?)

    "Saaaaaaved byyyyyy zerrrrrr-ohhhhhhhhhh.

    "Now, for a limited time only, you can get amazing zero APR financing on your favorite Toyota."

    Saaaaaaved byyyyyy zerrrrrr-ohhhhhhhhhh.

    "That's 0 percent financing on 11 different models! Featuring Toyota's legendary quality. No other car brand can make this offer. So hurry in now, and see how much zero can save you on a brand new Toyota."

    Saved by zero! Saved by zero!

(By the way, I did that off the top of my head. We are reaching the point where I am two weeks away from stopping by my local Toyota dealership, buying a brand-new Toyota Tundra with zero APR financing, driving the car off the lot, doing a U-turn, then plowing it through the front window of the dealership at 60 mph while screaming, "SAVED BY ZERO," like the guys from "Red Dawn" screamed, "WOLVERINES!" Cut down on the ads, Toyota. We're not kidding. You know why you haven't see John Mellencamp in two years? He's trapped in the basement of some frustrated baseball fan who dressed him like the Gimp and keeps him in a trunk after hearing "Our Country" for the 700,000th time. Look, we're all ecstatic that the guys from the Fixx are getting royalties again. Just tone it down. We get it. Zero APR financing. Heard you loud and clear.)"


Winner? Not Sportsguy...This guy.

4 comments:

Luke said...

what's wrong with "this is our country?" i kind of like that song.

FUNG! said...

Looks good to me. Everyone got credit, including you.

Vik Vij said...

The amazing this is, everyone got credit at 0% apr, for qualified buyers.

Luke said...

that joke was on par with my usual, vikram. not good.