1. When the music really is too loud. Look, we've all been there. You just want to talk to your friends, you don't want to dance, you just want to talk about the good ole days, but you can't since you can't hear, since the music is too loud.
2. When you can't even identify the genre of music being played, let alone the name of the band.
3. When you come home at 7am and you say to yourself, damn, I'm getting too old for this s&@t,Vegas be damned.
4. When you really do want to keep those whippersnappers off the lawn.
5. When conversations with your friends (those you can hear, at least) center on IRAs, school districts, and interest rates.
6. When guys being drafted into the NFL were in high school when you graduated from undergrad (not to mention just calling college "undergrad")
7. When hot wings or enchiladas at 11 means Rolaids at 1.
8. When you can remember drinking water out of a glass and not out of a bottle.
9. When you start spotting grays in your goatee (OK, that's just me) or on top of your head.
10. When you really do look forward to (and need, to be honest) that wake up cup of coffee.
Honorable mention goes to: When, after playing basketball or football, you either ice your knee or think to yourself "these old bones"; when you're actually offended by jokes that aren't at your expense; when your idea of a great Saturday afternoon includes a nap; whenever nearly everyone of your stories begins with, "remember when..."; and, finally, when you remember Lou Holtz as the cheating coach at Notre Dame and not the moron with the speech impediment and the coke bottle glasses who spits all over the set on ESPN.