Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Conspiracy Theories

I remember hearing as a youth not to believe everything you hear or read. I also remember hearing that just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean that the whole world is not out to get you. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't. Now, I'm not some sort of a nut. On the other hand, I don't have the wool pulled over my eyes. There are some people who I believe are not dead. I'm not crazy. I know Elvis is dead. He died in 1994 in Memphis. I know JFK died in Dallas. He was shot 3 times. By 3 different shooters. But I digress. I'm talking about people who are still alive, even though they want us to think they're dead.

1. Ken Lay. Ok, so a guy worth many (if not more) millions of dollars (on the books and above the table, at least) is convicted of 10 counts of securities fraud and wire fraud, and, while waiting for sentencing in Colorado, suddenly drops dead. Hmm. Let's look at this carefully.

Ole Kenny boy was pronounced dead at 3:11am in the middle of nowhere Colorado. So, the poor schmuck lucky enough to pull the midnight shift at the Aspen Valley Hospital pronounced Ken dead. No way could our boy Ken have slipped this guy a few bucks to fake the autopsy. A man facing 20 to 30 years with millions of dollars could very easily slip some cash to the coroner. We know for sure that Ken's ethics would not have stood in the way. So, it's looking pretty shady. But wait, there's more.

The cherry on top here is that Ken's body was cremated and his ashes were scattered in a secret location somewhere in the mountains. Where is the body to confirm the diagnosis of a heart attack? Oh, it's gone. Is anybody else suspicious? A man with millions of dollars and every incentive to disappear suddenly dies of such a generic ailment, has his body cremated and has his ashes scattered? Nobody thinks he's currently sipping a Mai Tai somewhere in the South Pacific, living out his days? The funny thing is, I predicted he would "die" on his trip before sentencing. I told my dad (Hi Dad) that there was no chance Ken would do jail time and would instead slip off into the night. Come on, folks, this is too easy.

2. This may be a little more controversial, but there is no chance in the world Princess Diana is dead. No way. I'm not buying it. Let's review the facts and motives.

The Princess of Wales, beloved by not only the British but most of the world, is dating Dodi al Fayed, an Egyptian businessman. They had a serious relationship. What would happen if they had a child? What if Prince Charles, Prince William and Prince Henry all died or became incapacitated? Would Di's child assume the throne? Could a half-Egyptian rule the British empire, which, ironically, included Egypt until 1952? There's no way this could happen. But the Brits couldn't just kill Di. More on this later.

Let's review the evidence surrounding the "fatal" car "crash" shall we. First, her body guard Trevor Rees-Jones, who was sitting in the front seat, survives the crash, but Di and Dodi do not? Hmm. Testimony from Mercedes experts said it was nearly impossible for anyone to survive a car crash at over 120 mph. Maybe the car wasn't going that fast. Maybe Di and Dodi got out earlier. Maybe they were never in the car. Maybe the whole car crash was faked by British special forces trained Rees-Jones.

What about the driver? Who was the driver? Why was Dodi's regular driver not there? Why did it take more than 2 full days for the driver's identity to be revealed? Henri Paul, the man who is alleged to have been the driver, may not have been the driver? How did he survive? Did he survive? Did Dodi's wealthy family pay him off? Could the British Royal family's power and money influence him? Does anyone else wonder about these questions?

Also, the same day as the crash, Princess Di mentioned to a British tabloid (Daily Mail) that she was about to withdraw completely from public life. Hmm.

Back to motive, for a minute, if you'll indulge me, please. Maybe Di and Dodi reached a compromise with the Royal family. There's no way they could have allowed her to wed the Egyptian, but there is similarly no way she could be allowed to have a child. The solution could not be an assassination. She was too popular. So, is it really that hard to believe that Di and Dodi are off somewhere in the Empire, or perhaps not in the Empire, enjoying their life, away from the scrutiny, pressure, and racism that faced them back home?

What about her kids, you ask? Did Princess Diana raise her kids? Or was it a team of nannies, nurses and tutors? She wasn't walking away from her children. She was walking towards the rest of her life. All I'm saying is: don't be a sucker. Think about it. Don't believe it because the media told you it happened.


FUNG! said...

Re: Princess Di

I think you mean "throne," rather than "thrown." Not that I should really be correcting anyone's spelling.

I still think they killed her off. That's been my theory from the beginning. Yeah, she's popular, but I totally believe they would kill off a brown (close enough & don't think they won't do it). Also, the British monarchy had a PR field day and came out smelling like roses.

They had it planned. The driver is just too dumb to know what happened to him.

I'm with you on Ken Lay.

Jordy said...

I like this topic. I hope you go into more conspiracy theories like UFOs, IFOs, and EGGOs. I also really like you used Dale as the picture for the entry. Well done.

You left out Tupac. He's alive. Also, Dick Clark is dead but being kept alive by robotics and CGI technology.

FUNG! said...


I thought this was appropriate.

Frink said...

And you're almost a lawyer.

Jay said...

You missed the biggest conspiracy of them all. The international bankers, money trusts, Rothchilds,New World Order, and etc. Get your tin foil hat for that one.