Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Welcome to the freakshow...

There are many positive aspects about the apartment complex in which I live. It's close to school and work. There are plenty of things to do around this part of town. A good number of fellow law students live in the complex and other friends live in the area. But there are some drawbacks. There is a fire station across Washington Avenue and from time to time the sirens wake me up. There are also a number of complete nutjobs who deserve special mention. These people aren't necessarily a drawback or a negative. To be fair, they do make me laugh, even if I try not to laugh in their faces for obvious reasons.

1. Wetsuit guy. This gent walks from across the complex in a wetsuit and flippers to the pool, where he swims countless laps. Now, there is nothing all that weird about swimming in a pool in Houston during the summer in a wetsuit. Well, there is something weird about it. But walking a few hundred yards to do that is just a bit off.

2. Sweater jogger. Another one of the residents of Archstone is a guy who runs in a sweater. No, not one you can buy at a store, but an all-natural man sweater. Front and back. Full length. Ironically, he's bald as a cue ball.

3. Computer in the gym guy. There is a guy who wears jeans to the gym, charges his cell phone and plays on the internet on this computer. He sits on one of the weight machines, but does not work out. He also changes the channel on the second television to whatever is on the first one and turns the volume way up. I don't get it. Maybe he doesn't have tv or internet in his apartment? Maybe he's just a weirdo? It could be both.

4. Another one of the winners from the gym, it's argyle socks guy. This little guy wears argyle socks with his New Balance shoes in the gym. He doesn't really work out much, but he does try to spit game at every girl in the gym. He clearly has no shame, as I've seen girls laugh at him with little to no deterrent effect. All the while wearing mid calf high argyle socks.

5. There is the girl who lives here who is having an affair with a guy who does not live here. No names will be used, as nearly all of the people who know these two know they are having an affair. That is, everyone except for the guy's wife. It's pretty funny to see them in the parking lot, only to see people they know try to greet them awkwardly and then try to slip away. Hilarious.

6. There is the guy who has a full sized stuffed bob cat on his coffee table, which is right next to his front window. Pretty startling at night, trust me.


luke said...

What about The guy with an AR-15 under his bed?

FUNG! said...

Fantastic post. As media, I look forward to your comments on the NBA playoffs when it's all done.

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