Tuesday, October 14, 2008

It's because you're stupid, Verbal

Ok, maybe not Verbal Kint, but Adam (Don't call me PacMan) Jones, formerly, perhaps, of the Cowboys and the National Football League. In what can only be described as one of the all time bonehead moves, Jones, in a drunken stupor, assaulted an off-duty Dallas police officer (allegedly?) assigned to him by the Cowboys to keep the troubled (read: stupid) cornerback (read: idiot) and punt returner (read: moron) out of trouble (read: being himself). Apparently, Pacman had a team of 4 bodyguards, but only decided to rabbit punch one of them (allegedly).

Wait, let's get this straight. Pac was out drinking. Certainly not illegal. Except...he is on probation from the little incident in Vegas, where three people were shot, and he's on at best thin ice with the Law and Order Commissioner of the National Football League Roger Goodell, who had previously suspended Jones for 17 months. And also, he was on double secret probation (which was not secret, either). Pacman had to stay out of trouble.

Anyway, back to the story. Pac's out drinking, then he gets told to go home by the body guard/police officer. Pac disagrees, and voices his disagreement by hitting his body guard/police officer. Kevin Costern and Whitney Houston this is certainly not, but I digress.

Ole Pac is lucky enough to get, in what we can generously call a 7th chance, and blows it. Allegedly. After all, he only got in trouble at a nightclub, a strip club, a hotel, pulled over with weed in his car, a gas station shooting, another night club, a spitting incident at a night club, a triple shooting at a Vegas strip club, and this recent hotel incident.

How many times can one idiot get the same chances? Does the National Football League need this kind of guy (read: garbage)??? Look, I'm not even a Cowboys fan. You could even say my second favorite team is whoever is playing Dallas that week. But come on. Give it a rest. Pac is just lucky to be out of jail.

I have the feeling he's going to pull a Verbal Kint, and disappear. Only he won't get into a Jaguar and cruise off into the sunset. He'll end up in an 8 by 8 with three squares daily. Or dead.

2 comments:

J said...

Did you know Pacman was once in a barbershop quartet in Skokie, IL??

Trey said...

yeah but doesn't that mean that pacman is behind some incredible and elaborate scheme that will only leave us shaking our heads in disbelief when we realize what he's actually been up to this whole time? the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was... making it rain?